As I build my outline, I’ve been thinking a lot about what makes a good scene, and that led to these posts: Test That Scene – Is It Essential or Filler? and Test That Scene – Cut or Revise? But what about stringing those scenes together? Is there a test for that?
Serendipitously I came across this article on Fiction University that talks about a trick used by South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone to make sure each scene advances the story and is not just a series of random stuff happening.
If you can put “but” or “therefore” between scenes, then congratulations! You’re advancing the story!
If you can’t use the above words and put “then” between the scenes, you’re not advancing the story.
For example (each sentence represents a scene):
I ate a tuna salad sandwich for lunch today. Then I went and bought a coffee at Starbucks. Then I worked on that spreadsheet. Then I checked Facebook for an hour. Then I went home.
That’s a string of random stuff happening, not a story. “Then” isn’t a connection, it’s a segue into something unrelated.
“But” and “therefore” are connections. “But” denotes conflict. “Therefore” implies a reaction. Both mean that the following scene isn’t random; it’s connected to the previous scene in a meaningful way. For example:
I ate a tuna salad sandwich for lunch, but the tuna was poisoned. Therefore I had to go to the hospital, but the hospital was overrun by zombies who bit me! And therefore I became a zombie.
Ridiculous, but you get the idea – connecting scenes with “but” and “therefore” make a story.
However, having a “then” every once in a while isn’t going to break your story’s back. Just take note when this happens and ask yourself if the next scene is really necessary, or if there’s a better way to connect the scenes, and make sure that you never follow one “then” with a bunch more.
Also note that if you have multiple plots and the story jumps back and forth between them, do this test on the plots separately. So get your A Plot scenes together and see if they’re connected with “but” and “therefore”, then put your B Plot scenes together and test for the same thing, et cetera.
So I applied this trick to Act I of my WIP and it brought to my attention a couple weak spots. Seeing the scenes attached by “then” revealed why these scenes, despite having conflict and change and all that good stuff in each, felt weak, like the story was taking a detour. Because it was!
And if you want to see how to apply “but, therefore and then” to beats inside scenes, check out Fiction University’s post The Best Advice On Plotting I’ve Ever Heard.
Did you try this trick? How did it turn out? Learn anything about your story?
Nice quick acid test. A series of events does not a story make. 🙂
Wow. That must be the one post I missed on Fiction University. Thank you, Heather! Jumping over now, but didn’t want to forget to leave some comment love.
It’s a good post! Glad I brought it to your attention. 🙂
So useful for outlining! I’ve been using it to develop a (semi-horror) thriller and it really keeps the narrative on track. The original video is worth watching: http://www.mtvu.com/shows/stand-in/trey-parker-matt-stone-surprise-nyu-class/
Thanks for the video link! I couldn’t find it in my searches.
For some reason the title made me think of the Saturday morning School House Rock cartoon that had Conjunction Junction. 🙂 Nice to have a simple rule to follow.
Haha! Thanks, Shawn!
Thanks for the tip. I like how simple this one is to apply too.
I know! Writing is such a complicated craft that it’s nice to find a simple tip that helps. 🙂
This is simply great, thank you. These are the tips I’d like to print and washi tape to the wall behind my computer if I didn’t have a cat who occasionally uses the walls as scratching posts. (He’s so hardcore.)
I applied the but&therefore technique to my story and it passed so now I can stop holding my breath. I’m on the 4th draft, if I find something bad in the structure I think I’ll have a meltdown and move to Algiers.
There was a similar technique mentioned in the podcast Writing Excuses. (I tried looking for the episode but failed, sorry.) I think it was Mary Robinette Kowal who said that after you end a scene, you should ask yourself: What happens as a consequence of this scene? If you can’t think of an answer then you have some revising to do.
And, go Butters! Butters is my favorite. He’s freaking adorable.
Congrats on passing! And happy 4th draft!
Butters IS adorable. 🙂
You have to love simplicity. What an easy way to help assess whether a scene stays or not. Thanks!
On behalf of the South Park creators, you’re welcome! 😉
Hi – I liked the “but” and “therefore” example. 🙂 Great advise.
@dino0726 from
FictionZeal – Impartial, Straighforward Fiction Book Reviews
Thanks, Diane! Zombies were on my mind. 😉
Great tips, Heather. I have to confess, I go through my work with a fine tooth comb because I have a tendency to overuse the word ‘but’. Seriously, I’m often surprised at how many of those stubborn little connectives can work their way in! I use ‘then’ sparingly, but as you said – there’s a time and a place 😀
Oh no, I don’t mean literally use the words “but”, “therefore” and “then” in your prose! What I mean is to summarize your scenes into one sentence, and see which of these three words would connect each scene. I will rewrite that in the post to make it clearer. Thanks for the comment!